The First Six Months
‘This is why you do it, and this is why you’re here.’
This is the mantra I repeat to myself, three times over, on the start line every time I race. When the adrenalin and the tension reach fever pitch, I grab hold of my nerves, close my eyes and rest them on my forearms.
‘This is why you do it. And this is why you’re here.’
Three times, every time.
I say it to remind myself that, despite the fear, I love this.
The fear doesn’t come from being afraid of crashing. That’s happened too many times already. It comes with the job.
No, the fear comes from knowing the pain I am about to put myself though, from knowing that no matter how good my last result was, it means nothing now.
You take your wheel to the edge of the precipice and you look over the lip. Every time. When the hammer drops you have a choice, to let the wheel in front of you go…
If you let it go you have become broken. If, when the final push comes and the chance is there to break them and you let that pass, you have lost. It doesn’t matter where the finish line is or where you’ll be placed when you cross it, because you aren’t going to be first.
If you’ve already lost in your mind, you’re lost for good.